*With my brother’s permission I have shared a bit of his story in the hopes that others will continue to help break the stigma and raise awareness on the importance of mental health.

May is mental health awareness month, an important time to speak up about the many struggles of mental health and illnesses, but it’s also important to be an advocate and a voice all year round. If you go to the NAMH (National Alliance on Mental Health), you will find a shocking number of people (Americans alone) that wrestle with mental illness in some form or another. Just to give you a taste of the statistics they provide: “1 in 5 adults within the US experience mental illness each year. 1 in 6 youth in the US experience some sort of mental health disorder each year. 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24.” Not only are these statistics profound, but we must also be aware that

As if that weren’t shocking enough,

“the average delay between onset of mental illness symptoms and treatment is 11 years.” Additionally, “suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death among people aged 10-14, and the 3rd leading cause of death among those aged 15-24 in the US. 46 percent of people who die by suicide had a diagnosed mental health condition. 90 percent of people who die by suicide may have experienced symptoms of a mental health condition according to interviews with families…”

(Mental Health By the Numbers | National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI))

It’s quite clear we live in a broken and fallen world; A world full of sickness and disease. According to the National Institute of Health, out of the many who struggle with mental health issues, 25% of those who are looking for treatment also turn to clergy for help or support. ( Hospitality Towards People with Mental Illness in the Church: a Cross-cultural Qualitative Study - PMC )

Now many within the church would say

they’ve experienced burnout or feel under equipped to handle mental health crises. And though the Church at large does not necessarily need to act as a therapist itself, and in many cases should notsince many churches are under-equipped, what we CAN do, is be family. Provide community. Those within the church who are struggling mentally need to know that they can turn to their brothers and sisters in Christ without fear of being stigmatized or looked down upon. In the same way that we bring casseroles to a new mom, offer to clean her house, or support a friend recovering from surgery, we must also serve and care for the ones who may be suffering silently. The ones who struggle to function in the day to day due to panic attacks, bouts of depression or manic episodes.

When I was 19 years old, I watched fearfully as my older brother’s mental health went on a decline. He had grown up struggling academically and faced bullies on top of the pressures of approaching adulthood. So when he reached young adulthood, there were a number of things that triggered a bout of psychosis. Already struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts, the death of a close friend had set off his first bout of psychosis, and it was a very heartbreaking time for my family. We didn’t have the experience in this area so my parents did the best they could to care for their oldest son with what resources they had. When he came home from the hospital for the first time, it all felt so taboo. There were no answers. All we knew was that my brother was home, and somewhat back to himself, though the medication they put him on made him very tired and slow. Over the years, he struggled to get answers. In his words, it felt like they were throwing medication at his symptoms without knowing what the problem was. Despite the fact that we didn’t talk about it very openly with anyone, there were a few people who knew he was struggling. When he came home from the hospital the first time, a group of his friends from youth group had come back from winter camp, and made it a point to build a snowman on our front lawn for my brother. It was a sweet way for them to say, “we see you. We’re here for you.” Another time, when medications were not helping, my brother began to struggle. One of my mom’s closest friends knit a beanie for him and often came by to check in on my family. Years came and went, things fluctuated, and my sister in law came into the picture. She became one of the biggest advocates for my brother’s mental health, and helped break any stigmas or fears regarding the topic of my brothers mental health journey. She stayed by his side through bouts of psychosis, doctor’s visits, and trial and errors of medications. When their oldest son, my nephew, was almost a year old, my brother had another severe episode that once again landed him in the hospital. But because of all of the advocating, encouraging and stigma breaking my sister in law had done over the years, there was more support that was ready to be given to my brother in his time of need. Their family went to the top of the emergency prayer list in their church, child care was offered by many, and the day he was discharged and brought home, everyone was at their house ready to welcome him home with a birthday cake since he happened to come home near the time of his birthday. It felt like such a relief to the whole family because for the first time in about 10 years, he finally came home with a real diagnosis. It didn’t come as too much of a surprise to us as his closest family because we had all lived within close proximity and seen him from his highest to his lowest. But it was so validating for everyone to see him finally get an official diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder. Moving forward with a diagnosis and the proper medications set him on a path to thriving rather than living with a lack of support. He has made it known that being supported and reminded that he is so deeply loved is what he needed most in his times of need. He deeply appreciated all of the support he received, especially during the last hospitalization, and said things such as receiving phone calls or care packages, having his Bible with him, clothing being dropped off for him, and knowing he had people praying for him was a good way of being shown that he was loved. Communication from family is key. If I could have gone back in time to the very first time it all happened, I wouldn’t have treated his mental condition as such a taboo thing. It needs to be talked about. Families need support. If I could say one thing regarding mental health support, it would be this: don’t stop talking about it. Those who struggle need to know that there is a safe space for them. They need to be reminded that they are made in the image of God, and deeply loved. And to the church families and communities, I’d say the same. Don’t be afraid to help break the stigmas made about mental illnesses. Those who struggle need care packages, hot meals, and a warm hug too. This is me advocating for mental health. This is me offering support to anyone who needs it. As a part of the body of Christ, I want to be the hands and feet of Jesus.

To anyone wrestling with thoughts of suicide, please call 988 and find someone to talk to or chat online at 988lifeline.org.

If you’re feeling lonely or are having a difficult time, call me at 3am and we’ll chat until the sun comes up. If you are lonely and can’t manage to brush your hair, I’ll come do your dishes and encourage you to eat a meal or take a shower. To the ones feeling like they have no one to talk to about their struggles, I want to hear about it. To the ones who are watching their loved ones suffer and you feel heartbroken and helpless, call me. I’ll listen. I get it. I can’t say it enough, it’s okay to talk about it. It’s okay to ask for help. We live in a broken world where people will get hurt and sick, and that includes those with mental disorders. There should be no stigma regarding someone who is fighting an invisible battle. There should only be selfless love. There is grace in and from Christ that is enough for us to embrace you with.

Philippians 2:3-4

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

Psalm 139:13-14

For it was you who created my inward parts;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

I will praise you

because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.

Your works are wondrous,

and I know this very well.

1 Corinthians13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant, is not rude, is not self-seeking, is not irritable, and does not keep a record of wrongs. Love finds no joy in unrighteousness but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.